Yep, it’s true. After breaking up with my boo 9 mos ago, I’ve decided to jump back into the dating pool. And by jump I mean poke a very cautious toe into the most passive form of dating – the online kind. I tried eHarmony once while on vacation, after the breakup and two bottles of wine. It was a “free weekend” so I thought why not! After an hour of answering inane questions and one more glass of wine, I got this…
I only cried a little. Then I laughed.
I have many girlfriends who use the internet to fulfill their needs, whatever they may be. Whether long term romantic or short term fling, when they discussed their exploits, I would listen in stunned silence. My query was always the same; “you talk to strangers on the internet??” Their response was always the same “yes”. Then I asked “you meet them in real life? Aren’t you concerned for your safety?” This is when the eyes roll and no matter what the age of the girl, the answer is “no”, usually followed by a wink. I just couldn’t get my head around a) putting my face on the internet and b) what the hell do you say to a total stranger? And what’s with the wink?
So the guys at work decide to do it for me and before you know it, I have an account on a popular dating site. And, I got a message. A MESSAGE. My addled brain starts down crazy street – Do I message back? Do I wait a day? Isn’t there a book with some kind of rules? Do those rules apply to online dating or do I need a new book? I haven’t been to Barnes & Nobles in a bit. And if I send a message do I sound desperate? Do I make a joke? What if he doesn’t get it? Why did I decide to do this again?
Then he messaged again.
Does that mean he’s upset with me for not messaging him back? Have I completely ruined my chances with this guy? I mean, of all the profiles I had looked up at that point, he seemed like the only decent thing on there so the alpha dog in me needed to get him first. I was thinking of him the same way I think about my parking spot at work or the chair I always sit in during meetings – if I don’t get there first, someone else will take it. A day passed and I still hadn’t messaged because I couldn’t get out of my own way.
Then the weekend passed and I forgot all about it. Monday I checked again.
He had messaged five more times. So the problem solved itself. He went from being a possible love connection to TOO needy and not my type. And I feel perfectly justified in this rush to judgement, right? Everyone else is doing it, so when in Rome…
And that was just my first 5 days…
Looking forward to sharing my stories and getting your advice…
EDITOR AT LARGE
CHIEF FASHION CORRESPONDENT
Anna Paula Goncalves
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