Training for the Napa to Sonoma half-marathon continues…
This week our training consisted of running a 6K road race in Brockton. It was the same place we had run a couple of weeks ago, so I was familiar with the terrain. Which normally would be a good thing, you know the lay of the land as it were, you know where the big hill is, and you know when to kick into gear near the end. For some reason this works in reverse for me. If I’ve done it before it just psyches me out. I have little voices in my head telling me to quit before I’ve even begun. AND IT’S ONLY 3.75 MILES. What happens when we have to run more? I seriously need to find a way to get out of my own way.
I have tried running with music, with audiobooks, with podcasts, and with nothing but the wind in my ears. Nothing seems to make it stop. In fact, I think the only way I can get that little voice to shut it’s shit-talking mouth is to talk to it. But, funnily enough, talking while running alone gets you mad side-eye from people you pass. But for some reason I prefer talking to myself. Well, I should be more precise, arguing with myself. Maybe it’s because I’ve lived alone for so long, but conversing with myself is something I do all the time. At home, at work, at Foodies while deciding on ground grass-fed beef or bison, (the little voice wants Bison, my voice wants whats cheap) but it just sounds weird when you are running.
Now that you think I’m a total psychopath, please know my doctor says talking to yourself is totally normal. So don’t worry about my brain, it has an entire village of people tending to it. But I digress.
Her name is Ms Moo-lot and she’s made entirely of wine corks. How cool is that? I have a great love for that which falls under the heading of “Roadside Americana” and finding kitch like this in a fancy place like Napa/Sonoma brings me joy.
I finished the 6K a little faster than I had run the course last time, so high five for me! And my entire team was there at the finish line to cheer me on. Team Challenge is full of warriors and I’m so honored to be a part of this amazing group!
I realize I might bring some of this on myself, but I seriously walked into the dark side this time.
Salt and I were waiting in my car to go into an appearance and I got a ping on my POF profile. So I read it and it was well written, funny, and seemingly real. The holy trifecta! I showed it to Salt, my best girlfriend, to get his opinion. He had the same thought as me, a normal boy, and we decided to bring it to the program. Like I said, I might have brought this on myself. Here is a brief snippet of what he said…
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Funny things start to happen once you’ve been on the dating sites for a while. You start to get the “out-of-town gentleman caller.” These are guys who say they will “conveniently be in town for business” on such and such a date and wonder if you’d like to get together. At first this sounded like the perfect scenario to me. They were here for a couple days, we’d have a dinner, maybe more, and they go away and never come back. Or, they are married.
The first gentleman caller was going to be in town around the time of the Boston Marathon (which I was running). I told him as such and that I might not be much fun and certainly wouldn’t be very mobile but he said no worries. Well, the date was to be on a Wednesday and as soon as I woke up on Tuesday after the MONDAY marathon I knew I was in no shape to do anything. I messaged him in kind. His response? “Figures.” My response: “dude, really? I just ran a bunch of miles and my legs are killing me.” His retort? “Predictable.” So the next time a man from out of town came along, I was wary. But I figured I’d give it another try.
The first question I asked Cinderella (my name for him, this will become clear in a minute) was “are you married?” His answer was no. I’m pretty sure I brought it up a few more times until I was convinced. He seemed normal enough after our chat so I agreed to a date – a month in advance. He was a planner this one. Maybe this is crazy? I felt I was being proactive, filling up the ol’ calendar, making shit happen in my dating world. We texted and messaged a few times, we even talked on the phone. He seemed like an honest to goodness normal person.
The day of the date arrived – the plan was dinner and a Red Sox game. I had gotten the tickets myself so I wouldn’t feel beholden to him: always be mindful of the money put out vs. what you’re supposed to put out ratio. He arrived to dinner before me and at first site I knew there would be no putting out that night. However, I was going to give this date 100 percent – I would listen, I would talk a bit about myself and see what worked. So I listened to him tell me about his TWO failed marriages and the myriad reasons for their failures. He brought up church and the Big J a lot, which for some reason made my use of the f-word increase exponentially. I didn’t do it on purpose, if you have faith, I support it, but I just couldn’t stop it. It was beyond me.
Next stop, Fenway. Before we go any further it’s important that I tell you I told him before the date began that I get up at 3 a.m. and I would be leaving so as to get home by 9. Period. These are my rules on school nights. Like it or lump it and he agreed. It was an incredible night to be at Fenway, it was the 10th anniversary of the World Series win. I was like a kid at well, a ballgame, and so we didn’t chat much during the festivities. The game started, we got beers, and I started staring at the clock waiting for the witching hour at which I’d turn into a pumpkin.
At 8:30 sharp I said I had to leave. I encouraged him to stay, to enjoy the game, to be sure to have a Fenway Frank. He walked me to the Yawkey Way exit, gave me a hug and asked me if I’d ever come to Maryland. Ugh. Yes, you read that right. I left him at Fenway.
A week after the date, I received a hand-written thank you card. It was awkward and strange and just a little weird. He also said he’d be sending me a gift. A month later I received a box from Amazon including… wait for it… Ray Donovan Season 1 on DVD. Such a romantic guy! Needless to say, I haven’t talked to him since.
Looking forward to sharing my stories and getting your advice…K
My first foray into online dating was a boy I call Nemo. We met on Plenty of Fish, get it? Anyway… I change the names to protect the nice people who deign to go out with me.
Nemo had a great opening message to me. Most people were saying “hi” or “hello” or “what’s up” or my personal favorite “Hello my Queen”. Nemo actually spoke TO me. He said:
• A. You look familiar
• B. Why were you walking down that street in your pictures?
The picture he refers to is one of my profile pics of me walking down 5th St in Southie. Right in front of his childhood home.
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Yep, it’s true. After breaking up with my boo 9 mos ago, I’ve decided to jump back into the dating pool. And by jump I mean poke a very cautious toe into the most passive form of dating – the online kind. I tried eHarmony once while on vacation, after the breakup and two bottles of wine. It was a “free weekend” so I thought why not! After an hour of answering inane questions and one more glass of wine, I got this…
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